Mooo! According to University of Chicago entomologist Monte Lloyd, when the 17-year cicadas emerge, “There can be more meat on the lawns of a suburban neighborhood than on a dairy cattle farm.”

O’Hare today, gone tomorrow. “I don’t envy any politician trying to communicate with DuPage voters,” writes John Camper in Illinois Issues (May 1990). “Many of them expect to be there only a couple of years between the job in the Dallas suburb and the job in the Atlanta suburb. According to Naperville officials, the average family stays there only two years and nine months before moving on. So why should they pay local taxes to solve some long-range DuPage problem? They probably won’t even be in DuPage in a year or two. Why pay state taxes to improve the Chicago schools? They seldom, if ever, set foot in Chicago. For DuPage newcomers, there’s no political tradition, no sense of place.”

Good thing we don’t have yellow journalism anymore. Now it’s white. From the 48th Ward Progressive Network News (May 1990): “Shortly after Washington’s election, both major papers printed disinformation that claimed that the directors of the Washington Fund were about to resign because the Fund had been mismanaged. When the stories proved false, they simply stopped printing them without any retraction. Recently the Sun-Times printed a story about Daley’s administration replacing executive-level Blacks with Whites…. They did cite the figures as beginning in November, rather than the real beginning of Daley’s term. The next day, they printed a front-page retraction of the wrong date. We can hardly complain that papers are beginning to admit their mistakes. Is it a coincidence, however, that the mayor who was seriously wronged was Black and the mayor who got the retraction was White?”

“In the ’90s, voluntary mitigation schemes may well prove the most popular method of appearing to settle accounts with the planet and the public while continuing with business as usual,” reports Greenpeace (May/June 1990). The magazine suggests some alternative mitigation schemes with real teeth. “Action: General Motors builds car manufacturing plants in Hungary, Czechoslovakia and East Germany. Mitigation: GM tears up and landscapes 1,000 miles of freeway in Los Angeles. Action: The World Bank funds the construction of the Narmada Dam in India. Mitigation: A World Bank demolition team blows up the Glen Canyon dam in Arizona. Action: The Food Packaging Institute lobbies against packaging restrictions. Mitigation: Institute officials crew for a year on the garbage barge.”

Dis ain’t my city dey’re talkin’ about. “The Chicago being pitched to the rest of the world is the lakefront Chicago of beaches, parks, shops and museums,” writes James Krohe Jr. in Chicago Enterprise (May 1990), “the city whose new street cafes were found to be such an affectation by writer Jan Morris, the city where people go (as described in [Department of Commerce and Community Affairs’] lure brochure) to the ‘theatre’ instead of the ‘the-A-ter.’ That Chicago is a product of an essentially North Shore sensibility, a Chicago for people who really don’t like Chicago much, a place that sometimes must seem to hundreds of thousands of its own residents who live west of Halsted Street to be as exotic a place as Paris.”

What CHA midnight basketball is not. “The Coca-Cola Bottling Co. of Chicago, a big sports sponsor, gives the Jesse White Tumblers $27,000 a year. In return, the tumblers wear the Coca-Cola logo when they perform and appear in Coke television commercials,” writes Barnaby Dinges in the Chicago Reporter (May 1990). “Not a bad deal for Coke, considering that the tumblers perform more than 600 times a year, and might well appear at next year’s Super Bowl halftime show, White said.

“The CHA basketball games, however, are played before small crowds of CHA residents in tiny gymnasiums in dangerous neighborhoods. The league reaches a completely different market than the high-profile globe-trotting tumblers. CHA officials have asked Coca-Cola to provide more than free post-game sodas for the basketball players, but Coke is wary about stepping up its commitment to the league.”

“East Rogers Park reminds me of Berkeley back in the 1950’s,” leasing agent Charles Conrad tells Real Estate Profile (April 27-May 3). “It is an artsy community, and everyone carries a book around here. And there aren’t a lot of yuppies– we’re yuppie free.” Just wait till the 60s.

“The average bicycle commuter travels at about 10 miles per hour in traffic,” says the Chicagoland Bicycle Federation (which claims that there are more than 100,000 bicycle commuters in the metro-politan area). “As a rule, in urban areas, bicycle commuting is faster than other modes for distances less than four miles, and takes about the same time for distances between four and five miles. For longer distances you still may be saving time by combining your exercise time and your commute time.”

Art accompanying story in printed newspaper (not available in this archive): illustration/Carl Kock.