New horizons in management science. “Managers who exhibit Type A behavior are involved in a constant struggle to achieve more and more in less and less time,” according to a press release summarizing a study in Personnel Journal. “They see their enemies as the clock and other people, and typically try to measure their accomplishments in terms of numbers and speed.” We look forward to the new-style manager who struggles to achieve less and less in more and more time.

“The emperor governing American housing policy is stark naked and raving mad,” writes River Forest lawyer-planner Daniel Lauber in the Journal of the American Planning Association (Summer 1988). Why are rents so high? Because every time an apartment building is sold, the interest costs on its mortgage go up. “Since debt service usually constitutes 30 percent to 50 percent of the cost of operating a rental building, the mere resale of the building dictates a rent hike.” A more sane housing policy, he says, would encourage the building of “low-equity” cooperative apartment buildings that allow little or no appreciation in the value of members’ shares–thus treating housing as shelter from the elements instead of shelter from taxes.

Desperately seeking feminists. Gerry Gorman in Chicago Catholic Women Newsletter (Summer ’88): “Ultimately, it is not oppression from the men that will drive us from the Church. It is the scarcity of support from other women.”

“Like the Soviets in Afghanistan, we tried to establish a government in Saigon [South Vietnam] to invite us in,” writes Noam Chomsky in the Utne Reader (September/ October 1988). “We had to overthrow regime after regime in that effort. Finally we simply invaded outright. That is plain, simple aggression. . . . If you pick up a book on American history and look at the Vietnam War, there is no such event as the American attack on South Vietnam. For the past 22 years, I have searched in vain for even a single reference in mainstream journalism or scholarship to an ‘American invasion of South Vietnam’ or American ‘aggression’ in South Vietnam. In the American doctrinal system, there is no such event. It’s out of history, down Orwell’s memory hole.”

Don’t teach your baby to swim, urges Dr. Mark Widome in Young Health (Summer 1988), a publication of the American Academy of Pediatrics. He says babies under age three can’t learn to swim safely, and some develop seizures because they swallow too much water.

“Prizes work better than tough law enforcement in convincing drivers to buckle their seat belts,” reports the University of Illinois, describing recent research conducted in downstate cities by health-and-safety-studies professor Rudolf Mortimer. More drivers buckled up in towns with both stricter enforcement and incentives like food coupons, football tickets, and a $500 grand prize. We look forward to seeing the same concept applied to burglary and homicide.

“We have no need for home equity insurance in this neighborhood,” says Mark Testa of the results of the 1987 Beverly Area Planning Association’s home buyer’s survey. The far southwest neighborhood has remained stably integrated (new home buyers are about 70 percent white and 30 percent black), and home prices now average $91,000 (up 17 percent over 1986).

“Illinois’ state constitution is a constitution Robert Bork could have written,” writes Joseph L. Bast for Chicago’s libertarian-minded Heartland Institute. “It treats our lights as islands in a sea of unlimited state and local governmental powers. To those of us who are concerned for civil and economic lights, the room for improvement is very apparent.”

How to get rid of abandoned cars, according to Streets and Sanitation commissioner John Halpin, speaking to aldermen and quoted in Neighborhoods (July/ August 1988): “Find me a place to put a police auto pound in your ward and we will clean out your ward in two weeks.”

What’s in an upwardly mobile name? According to the authors of Beyond Jennifer and Jason: An Enlightened Guide to Naming Your Baby, “Most names of obscenely rich television characters (Alexis, Blake, Krystle) are downwardly mobile, as are. . . . names of ridiculously expensive stores or things: Tiffany, Bentley, or Crystal, for instance. On the other hand, names used for servants in 1930s movies about obscenely rich people are now upwardly mobile. Bridget, Josephine, Rose, Tillie, Amos, and Patrick have all arrived at the front door.” Hi, folks.

Art accompanying story in printed newspaper (not available in this archive): illustration/Carl Kock.