Dept. of correct life-styles. “A woman approaching 30 should have been given a piece of expensive jewelry, experienced the guilt and pleasure of wolfing down an entire box of Girl Scout cookies in one sitting, and been fired from a job just when she thought she had a semblance of security at the place,” writes Sherren Leigh in Today’s Chicago Woman (July 1987). “She should know how to be friends with former lovers and should have had at least one affair simply because the man looked good in tight pants. But she should also understand that if a man has big feet all it means is that he has big feet.”

Press releases we didn’t finish: “The National Foundation for Ileitis & Colitis, Inc. presents ‘What’s New in Inflammatory Bowel Disease.'”

“The gateway proposed here is inhabited by two gatekeepers–one guarding the entrance to the city–the other guarding the exit from the city,” writes architect Stanley Tigerman in a dreamlike interlude in the River North Urban Design Plan, proposing ornamental gateways on Ontario and Ohio at Orleans. “These gatekeepers are honorary appointments made by the city administration in recognition of prior significant service to Chicago. The gatekeepers both live and work in the dovecote buildings anchoring the ends of the gateway, where they also dispatch the duties of the gatekeeper (marking time, tending the trees above and the parklet below, logging significant events, and other such duties established by the city administration).” At least if they drink on the job, nobody will get squashed.

Banned in Bangor: According to Adweek (July 13, 1987), Nissan ads–in which an Oral Roberts look-alike says he’ll be “called home” if the cars don’t sell–have been pulled from three Maine TV stations after area dealers complained about “negative consumer reaction.”

“Asians tend to be very much alone,” Lee Maglaya of the Uptown-based Asian Human Services tells John Schrag of the Chicago Reporter (July 1987). “They stay away from most ‘rainbow’ issues because they feel that when the time comes for the focus to be on an Asian issue they will not get the support they need.”

Why are Catholic schools often the only “ticket out of the ghetto”? According to John A. McDermott, writing in Chicago Enterprise (August 1987), it’s not because they are selective. It’s because they’re better run. In particular, Catholic schools are (1) small (under 500 students) and therefore more manageable, (2) run by strong principals “with authority to hire and fire faculty, manage the budget . . . ” and who can therefore be held accountable for results in a way that public-school principals cannot, and (3) governed by involved parents sitting on elected school boards. “This arrangement creates a strong bond among the school, the parents and the community, which enhances the school’s ability to impart ideas and values to its students.”

When taxes are probusiness. Construction Quarterly (Summer 1987), publication of the Builders Association of Chicago, notes (paraphrasing Inc. magazine), “Fast growth [in cities] doesn’t mean less government involvement. It may mean more. Growth and new jobs come from many small, new businesses, mostly in the service sector. These businesses can’t afford their own security forces and snowplows. They need good city services more than they need low taxes.”

“We do not mind being the ‘guinea pig’ if it serves the public purpose of furthering a promising technology,” says William Child, manager of the Illinois Environmental Protection Agency’s Division of Land Pollution Control, in Progress, the IEPA newsletter (June 1987). “The Illinois EPA will have two active mobile incinerator sites operational this year” to deal with hazardous wastes at downstate Beardstown and near southwest suburban Lemont. “These two projects are among the first large scale incineration clean-up projects to be conducted in the United States. Illinois intends to pursue future mobile incineration projects.” Including, perhaps, one in Mr. Child’s own backyard?

“Wake up and smell the garbage, Chicago!” urges Patrick Barry in Crain’s Chicago Business (July 27, 1987). “Recycling works, and it costs far less than building incinerators or digging new landfills.”

Art accompanying story in printed newspaper (not available in this archive): illustration/Carl Kock.