Sure, Bjork wore a stuffed swan to the Oscars in March. Vogue, People, and Esquire magazines put out simultaneous “age issues” in August. And after 66 years in business, Mademoiselle folded in October. But here are
Farewell to Great Expectations, where Bellow got angry, Auden got comfortable, and Dylan Thomas got loaded.
Works Calling up your ex and asking to get married Saying, “If you don’t make love to me, the terrorists win.” Putting a toy camera in your shoe and pretending to be a CIA operative Asking, “Want to fool around with my night-vision goggles?” Doesn’t work Calling up your ex and demanding your CDs back […]
Sam Zell’s birthday party sends the city ducking for cover.
Pearls From the Collected Works of Richard Roeper. . .
The year 2001 is almost at an end, and, let’s face it, it’s just not as good as the movie. Instead of ushering in a new era of intergalactic exploration, that bone tossed into the air by our alpha-monkey ancestor millions of years ago seems to have clattered to earth as little more than a […]
“One tool that might be used against terrorism that is not in the new legislation is torture. While torture will probably never become a legal tool, there are some who are starting to think it might not be such a bad idea….Is torture effective? An option? Something we should think about?” — Neal Conan, host […]
Spontaneous Anthrax Symptoms: Shortness of breath, palpitating heart, fleeting but discerible thrill Method of Transmission: Mysterious neighbors, wacky cousins Likelihood of Contraction: Low for employed adults, high for teenagers Probability of Recovery: High Inspiration Anthrax Symptoms: Increased brain activity, feeling of superiority, sleeplessness Method of Transmission: Bad novels, new love affairs, poignant encounters on public […]
To help children understand the post-September 11 world, Topps released a series of “Enduring Freedom” cards depicting Dick Cheney, Condoleezza Rice, and other “civilian and military leaders entrusted to guide us through this fight.” Not surprisingly, there were no lefties in the set. Imagine a baseball-card series that included Curt Schilling but not Randy Johnson! […]
Political Atrocities 2001
Lost: Thousands of books from Sulzer Library; Found: One Book, One Chicago II Lost: $123 million from the city budget; Found: Tax cuts and other incentives for Boeing Lost: Bozo the Clown; Found: Vallas the Candidate Lost: Illusions of invincibility; Found: Other forms of anthrax Lost: Dick Cheney; Found: Dick Cheney Lost: Kyoto accord on […]
Skip Bayless/In the Wake of the News
Outgoing American Red Cross CEO Dr. Bernadine Healy was paid $450,000 this year. Nearly a quarter of that could have come from a local source. Wilmette Highcrest Middle School Penny-a-Page Read-a-Thon donated $110,000.
What’s a little terrorist hoax between friends?
CHICAGO PUBLIC LIBRARY From the desk of the commissioner Just want to keep you up to date on the progress of “One Book, One Chicago.” As you know, this year’s efforts were a huge success and laid a solid foundation for “Phase 2” of our program. Now that we know how much publicity this type […]