First dates are pretty easy. Contact was made, ways of correspondence exchanged, communication is then made after the initial meeting and a date is set to reconnect again. Both parties are on their best behavior; this is the “real” first impression so from this point, this first date, the relationship could go any which way. On the better end the date is the first in a number of memories created by the two people, which have transformed from being two people into being one couple, one unit of love (at least on the surface) if you will. On the other end (there are two sides to every Schwartz. Spaceballs, remember?) you have disaster. The whole evening went wrong and there is no interest in mending the mishap on one or either end. Done and forgotten, time to move on and try your luck elsewhere. Still, before that first meeting, with all those phone calls and texts and emails and Facebook updates and blog posts and Twitter Tweets and email blasts to friends and family filled with anticipation and excitement and wonder building up such a perfect night in your mind…. I just got myself really excited and I have no first dates lined up. See what happens? You think yourself into this state and you walk around with your head in the clouds whistling and thinking about all the possibilities…
Alright, so the first date. Pretty exciting, eh?
Thing is that you have yourself all keyed up for the night and you definitely want nothing to go wrong on your end. You make that mental checklist:
Cash: Check (please do let me credit card get declined)
Shower: Groomed better than prom night
Roommate: Gone for the evening and on call in case they want to check out that bedroom and clean bathroom (impressive, eh? Yeah, I usually clean so it just stays like this. I am clean dude)
The other thing is both people are in first date mode which is pretty much being on your best behavior. Best behavior is good and should be practiced but it’s not to say it’s regular behavior. You definitely don’t want to stray too far from the every day reactions but you certainly make a point to highlight your best and leave the habits or anything that could cause the evening to nosedive out of sight for the night. It’s awesome that the unspoken agreement is to have a good time and generally that is how it goes (ignoring the 300+ stories I have read in the past couple months about dates that were completely DOA) and it gives you something to talk about tomorrow, and even if not verbally spoken, it gives you a pretty good Tweet or Facebook update. But how do you get a pretty good idea of who the person actually is? A second date.
Date 2! Alright, this one is way more casual. You left the first one with all that great conversation and that awesome make out outside your place that disgusted your neighbors (who are pervs for watching anyway) with assumptions and generalizations made. You start to get a picture of who you think the person is and there is no helping it, your brain just pulls out the internal Etch-A-Sketch and starts making a composite. Now it’s time to compare the sketch to the person. Guards are not as high on date 2, the formalities and the best behavior are lowered, you kinda cleaned your room, the tie on the door knob and I will buy you a beer deal made with your roommate is now just a heads up text if things are happening back at your place, and you can kind of bring a bit of those personal likes and dislikes to the table. Reactions are way less scripted and more natural, for better or worse. So, now we really get to know one another. How does the mental sketch compare to the real live version? The nice thing is you can also find out the other person’s agenda. You can actually learn a lot from comparing the mental sketch to the real person.